The Rules of the Road in Vietnam

 Okay. In case you are ever in Vietnam, you will need to know the rules of the road. Hopefully, this will help you understand the way things work here...

Another traffic picture. It still amazes me!
Can you tell whose turn it is?

1)   Whoever is biggest has the right of way. Big trucks and buses have the most right of way, and pedestrians have the least. This is actually fairly logical. If you don’t let the bigger vehicles have the right of way they will squish you. Tread carefully, pedestrians, and keep your eyes open!

2)   If you want to make a left turn… just go. This rule is closely related to rule #1. The bigger you are the more right you have to make a left hand turn. For instance, if you are a bus you can make a left hand turn whenever you want… everyone else better find a way not to hit you while you are doing it! There is no magic turning light that will give you the power to make a left hand turn. You better just go when you can. (This also applies to pulling out across traffic or on to the highway… the bigger you are the more likely you are to get where you want to be!)

3)   Lanes do not mean anything. They do have lines painted on the road for lanes, but they don’t mean anything. Rarely, have I seen people drive inside the lines. You can fit many scooters side by side in one lane, and cars seem to enjoy driving right over top of the lines.

4)   The Shoulder. Speaking of lanes… there is a shoulder. The shoulder can be used for a few things.

a. One thing you could do on the highway shoulder is park your scooter and visit with all your friends who have also parked their scooters.

b. Another thing you could do is set up your stuff (shoes, bread, soup, hats… just about anything really) to sell. I’m not really sure who stops on the side of the road to buy soup… perhaps, the same people who park their scooters on the shoulder?!?

c.  Once you’ve finished your lunch, it appears that the shoulder is also a place that you can relieve yourself…

d.  The shoulder is also a good spot for passing people. Doesn’t matter if you are a bicycle, scooter, car, truck or bus… you CAN and WILL pass on the shoulder.

e.  This is one of my favourite things people do on the shoulder. If you want to get somewhere but are having trouble on your own side of the highway you might want to try driving on the shoulder on the other side of the road. That’s right… you’re essentially driving the wrong way… but if you honk your horn and drive REALLY FAST people seem to just go around you.

5)   The solid double yellow line means pass if you want. I know this seems opposite of what we’ve been taught… but in Vietnam if you want to pass don’t let a measly little solid double yellow stop you!

6)   The Honk. You will hear the honk all day and all night while you are in Vietnam. It essentially means one thing… MOVE! It probably means someone is coming up behind you and you aren’t going fast enough. It could mean someone is passing coming the other direction and doesn’t have enough time so you should move over to the shoulder (or be squished!). If you are a pedestrian and get honked at it most likely means "Pay attention if you want to live!" In the event that the horn doesn’t work you could also flick your headlights. It seems to mean the same thing as honking but it’s like taking it to the second level.

7)   Sidewalks. The sidewalk can also be used for many things… but you can’t really walk on them. (Well how could you?! They are usually full of parked mopeds and the stuff you’ll see on the list below!) Here are some things the sidewalk is handy for:

a)    Smoking

b)   Setting up your restaurant tables

c)    Selling stuff (Clothes, food, cigarettes, books… anything really). Here are the two most common phrases I’ve heard from sellers, “You buy my stuff,” and “Why you say no thank you?!?”

d)   Eating dinner

e)    Knitting

f)     Cooking (I kid you not!)

g)    Washing your dishes

h)   Cutting up 50 raw chickens. (At this point I know you think I’m making this up… but these are things I saw with my own eyes!)

i)     Parking your scooter… and in a pinch small cars can also park on the sidewalk.

j)     Sleeping

k)    Playing chess

l)     Driving. The sidewalk is often an excellent shortcut if you are driving a scooter (and sometimes a small car).

8)   U-turns Work Everywhere. Yep you can make a u-turn anywhere you want. The highway at full speed is one fine place to make a u-turn. From the right hand lane of 6 or so lanes of traffic is another fine place to make a u-turn. My personal favourite is when you make a u-turn and drive up on to the sidewalk almost driving into unsuspecting pedestrians.

9)   The Magic Hand. The magic hand is basically just holding up your hand, showing your palm and outstretched fingers. This signal is mostly used by pedestrians. It means…I’m walking here, please don’t drive into me. In a dangerous situation don’t just hold your hand up, but show your insistence by repeatedly pumping your hand. The magic hand can also be used by drivers when they are trying to make a left hand turn. Why do I call it the magic hand you ask? Well it seems to stop cars, scooters, buses and trucks from running you over 😌

10)  The Pedestrian Rule. Now I’m sure you’ve read online (as we have) that if you are a pedestrian, just walk in a predictable way and traffic will go around you. I am here to tell you that this rule is NOT TRUE. If you follow this rule you WILL get run over. You will not get across the street if you wait until there is no traffic…there is NEVER no traffic. Keep your eyes open. Try to catch the driver’s eyes. Walk (don’t be unpredictable), but if a vehicle is not stopping, don’t walk right in front of them (unless you have a death wish of course). At times, you will have to pause in the road in the middle of traffic, with cars and scooters whizzing by you in all directions. When you’re convinced the pause has been adequate enough to save your life and limbs start walking again.

Now, as a final note. Despite all these seemingly illogical rules, we have seen very few traffic accidents (relative to the amount of actual traffic). We can only sum it up by saying that the traffic rules work fine until the wheels fall off. (Yep we saw it three times!)