Vacation Photos: How To (Or How Not to!) - Sept. 20, 2010

We have had many glorious and relaxing beach days, without much to really blog about. I've included some random thoughts below, but expect less posts until we arrive in Bali on September 30.

Some random thoughts:

1)   I’ve managed to wake up at sunrise and go out on the balcony a few mornings (I didn’t wake up that early on purpose, but I’m glad I did!) The sky is an amazing light pink and baby blue colour. The water is like glass and hardly anybody is on the beach. It was incredibly peaceful 🌅

2)   We have had lots of yummy meals at our favourite beach taverna Yialos, but have also discovered the "Tatra Beach Bar and Restaurant" (Steve refuses to acknowledge the “r” and instead prefers to pronounce it  “tata”), which is also a lovely place to eat drink and stare at the ocean. We alternate eating between the two of them.

 

3)   Steve is planning to take a windsurfing lesson but has been foiled a few times. The first day they didn’t have enough people for the lesson. The second day was too windy. We’ll see what happens today.

...and it did happen!

4)   One morning, as we were playing cards on the balcony (it’s probably prudent of me to note that Steve does hold the “Honourable Title” at this point) we were watching a young couple taking photos of each other on the beach. I think I may have mentioned before how the poses people make while they are taking photos perplexes me. As we watched them (for a good 10-15 minutes), I took some notes about the poses.

Perhaps, just so you, Dear Readers, would not be so bored by my photos anymore…

perchance, so that you know how to pose and what to do when you take photos on your next vacation…

possibly because the practice at descriptive writing amuses me, or in all probability because I’m a mean person and it makes me laugh…

Whatever the reason I did it, here are my notes. I will split my notes into male and female poses, but please note that these sometimes cross genders.

Required Poses When Taking Vacation Photos

(this is not an endorsement of this behaviour, simply a subjective report of the events that transpired)

Male Poses

1)   “Look in the Distance” – This pose is characterized by facing the body towards the camera, but turning the head to the side. It is important to have a faraway look in your eyes, signifying that you are looking at something incredibly thought provoking and peaceful. (Don’t smile!) You can mix this up a bit by shading your eyes from the sun with one hand if you need more variation in your vacation pictures.

2)   “I’m Drawing My Gun” – Place your body at a 45 degree angle to the camera, one leg forward. Front hand points towards the camera, and the back arm is bent back like you are drawing a gun out of a holster. Mouth should be firmly set in a straight line, but eyes should be smiling to show you aren’t crazy. I don’t pretend to understand how men think, but I’m guessing this pose is meant to show how funny and manly you are at the same time.

3)   “Jog on the Spot” – This title is self-explanatory. You simply jog on the spot and have your friend take your picture. You should smile during this picture and attempt not to look winded so we can see how athletic and fit you are. Be warned that this picture can go horribly wrong (action shots are hard to look good in), so you should probably take approximately 25 and hope for one good one!

4)   “Hands in the Sand/Water” – For this pose you simply move to the water’s edge, crouch down low to the ground, put your hands just about in the water or sand (you don’t want them to get dirty it will be your turn to take pictures next!), and then look up and smile at the photographer. This photo is to prove that you were at the beach and that the water wasn’t too cold to touch.

5)   “Scary Hands” – Okay, I’ll be honest I’m not really sure what this one was all about. In case you are more in the know than me and want this photo, I’ll tell you how it looks. You stand facing the camera straight on, make a face like you’ve seen a ghost and shake your hands in front of you like you are waving two hands at the photographer. Personally, I’d skip this one if I were you. I can tell you from personal experience that people watching you take this photo will laugh at your from their balcony.

6)   “I’m Trapped in a Box” – Okay, I’ll let you get away with this one if you’re on the streets of Paris, but otherwise let’s just agree to never pose like this in public. Stand facing the camera, make a face like a mime (surprised eyes, O-shaped mouth) and position your hands flat like you are trying to get out of a box.

Side note #1: At this point, Steve looks over at me and says, “What the *&#@ are they doing????”

7)   “Superman” – This is my favourite! Stand at a 45 degree angle to the camera. Make a fist with both hands and put them firmly on your hips. Thrust your chest forward and stand firm. It is important that your face looks powerful… a small smile on your lips with no teeth (like you’re proud because just saved a kitty AND a baby from a burning building) and stare straight ahead with your all-knowing eyes. I could almost see his cape flowing in the breeze behind him when he did this one.

Side note #2: Should be noted that this guy looked like I could blow him over with a small breeze. It’s all about the attitude people.

Female Poses:

1)   The Peace Sign- Smile and put up your pointer and middle finger in the shape of a V. This either shows that you are committed to ending world peace or that you are cool.

2)   “I’m Pointing at my Lips” – Look at the camera, tilt your head slightly to the side, smile, and use your pointer finger to point at the corner of your mouth. This pose has endured all through France, Italy and Greece.  Young girls of all races do this pose on a regular basis.

Side note #3: Because I don’t understand this, does it mean I’m getting old?!?

3)   “Look at my hat/dress/skirt” – You smile at the camera and with both hands hold the edges of an article of clothing out. If it is a skirt use both hands to pull the fabric out to the side. If it is a hat (big brimmed floppy hats work best) tilt your head slightly and gently grasp on either side of your hat brim with two fingers. Warning: Don’t hold on too tightly or you may look like you are trying to hold your hat on in a strong wind. You don’t want to give any indication that the weather wasn’t perfect on your trip… and besides the photo is all about looking cute in your hat/dress/skirt, right?

4)   “The Jumper” – Okay, don’t JUMP all over me for this one, friends. I know you all do it 😉 I had to include it though. This one is easy. Jump in the air and have your friend take a photo of you in the air. Try not to make your face look bad (ha ha, it’s not as easy as you think). Variations: kick feet up behind you, starfish, or if you’re really daring jump in the water. Be careful though, the water ones can go wrong in a hurry!

5)   “Draped across the rocks/beach” – I believe that the girls taking this photo think they look sexy, reminiscent of a swimsuit calendar perhaps. Maybe they do look sexy to some people… to me they look silly (but I think we’ve already established I’m old and uncool… what do I know?) Anyway, I digress… All you need to do is find something to drape yourself across (sand, a large rock, a sun lounger… in a pinch you could even drape yourself on the road). Lay on your back (don’t forget to arch it) position your hands so you look kind of like you’re grasping a sheet in ecstasy and then turn on the smouldering eyes. (If you are going to attempt this photo, please note that it DOES look as stupid as it sounds here!)

Side note #4 – Steve says he agrees that it looks stupid UNLESS you’re really HOT!

6)   “Bad Ballet” – For this photo you must stand on one leg with the other leg straight out behind you, lean slightly forward with your torso and put both of your hands straight out to your sides. You will notice the title is BAD ballet. Everyone I’ve seen doing this pose is clearly not a ballerina. Enough said.

7)   “Sexy Walk Into Water” – Is this possible you ask? Nope, not in real life, but in the girl’s head that was walking into the water, she was sexy. This is how you do it. Have your photographer stand on the beach. Walk into the water directly in front of them. Look over your shoulder and smile coyly. Apparently, it’s super sexy if you do a backbend and dip your hair in the water.

Things to watch out for that make this picture unsexy:

a.     Lifting your knees high while you are walking (don’t ask me why, I’m just telling you what she was doing)

b.     Having half wet and half dry hair (from the hair-dipping)

c.      Doing a backbend and dipping your hair in the water.

Well, Dear Readers, that concludes your photography lesson for the day. There were some poses we saw that we didn’t include. I’ll tell you what I’ve named them and you can use your imagination to figure out how to do them if you are so inclined.

Poses not included: swingy hands, point at water, the thinker, look at the sun, tongue through fingers (I kid you not!), and wave at the camera.

Final Side Note: We chose not to include photos of us doing these poses because we didn't want people laughing at us from their balcony 😀